Monday, 5 March 2018

31 Photos That, Despite Their Best Efforts, Are Not Of Penises

I GET MY MONEY FOR NOTHING AND MY CHICKS FOR FREE!

*Technically* safe for work.

Technically, this is just a really thick sweet potato, and not a penis.

Technically, this is just a really thick sweet potato, and not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically, this is just a cut on someone's thumb, and not a penis.

Technically, this is just a cut on someone's thumb, and not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically, this is a starfish of some sort, and not five connected penises.

Technically, this is a starfish of some sort, and not five connected penises.

reddit.com

Technically, this is a baby's foot, and not a penis.

Technically, this is a baby's foot, and not a penis.

reddit.com

Also a baby's foot, technically.

Also a baby's foot, technically.

imgur.com

Technically a child's arm, not a penis.

Technically a child's arm, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically a dog's ear, not a penis.

Technically a dog's ear, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically this is the man's head, not his penis.

Technically this is the man's head, not his penis.

imgur.com

Technically, this is a massage chair, not a penis.

Technically, this is a massage chair, not a penis.

Twitter: @givemeinternet

Technically, this is just a glob of make-up, not a penis.

Technically, this is just a glob of make-up, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically speaking, that's her foot, not a penis.

Technically speaking, that's her foot, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically, the shadow is of two angel hands touching, not of two penis tips gently touching.

Technically, the shadow is of two angel hands touching, not of two penis tips gently touching.

reddit.com

Technically, this figure is meant to be holding a baby, not its own monster dong.

Technically, this figure is meant to be holding a baby, not its own monster dong.

reddit.com

Technically, this is a cucumber, not a penis.

Technically, this is a cucumber, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically an inside-out sock. (Not a penis.)

Technically an inside-out sock. (Not a penis.)

reddit.com

Technically, this print is meant to depict the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not a penis.

Technically, this print is meant to depict the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically, this is a stalagmite, not some kind of cave boner.

Technically, this is a stalagmite, not some kind of cave boner.

reddit.com

Technically a snowblower, not an ejaculating penis.

Technically a snowblower, not an ejaculating penis.

kisforkate

Technically just two mushrooms. No penises.

Technically just two mushrooms. No penises.

reddit.com

Technically, that's the thumb of the person in white, and not the penis of the person in blue.

Technically, that's the thumb of the person in white, and not the penis of the person in blue.

Twitter: @daylightrobber

Technically, this is just a potato, not a penis.

Technically, this is just a potato, not a penis.

pr0gramm.com

Technically she's using a mortar and pestle. She's not masturbating into a bowl.

Technically she's using a mortar and pestle. She's not masturbating into a bowl.

Twitter: @Beachreader

Technically, this is an ad for something called the Simmons Hall of Science... though, to be honest, I'm dubious.

Technically, this is an ad for something called the Simmons Hall of Science... though, to be honest, I'm dubious.

reddit.com

Technically, this is just some sort of small outgrowth on a potato, and not a small potato penis. As far as I know, potatoes do not have penises.

Technically, this is just some sort of small outgrowth on a potato, and not a small potato penis. As far as I know, potatoes do not have penises.

imgur.com

Technically, this is someone's hat, not a penis.

Technically, this is someone's hat, not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically, this is just a small, misshapen strawberry. (Not a penis, technically.)

Technically, this is just a small, misshapen strawberry. (Not a penis, technically.)

pr0gramm.com

Technically, this egg just cracked while boiling. It is not sexually aroused.

Technically, this egg just cracked while boiling. It is not sexually aroused.

reddit.com

Technically, this is just a beach umbrella and the contrail of a passing jet, not an ejaculating penis.

Technically, this is just a beach umbrella and the contrail of a passing jet, not an ejaculating penis.

reddit.com

Technically just a puppy. Not a penis.

Technically just a puppy. Not a penis.

reddit.com

Technically speaking, the stroke across the "H" of "Harvest" is being depicted as a stalk of wheat, which just happens to end right at the tip of a baguette. This is not meant to depict an ejaculating penis, as far as we can tell.

Technically speaking, the stroke across the "H" of "Harvest" is being depicted as a stalk of wheat, which just happens to end right at the tip of a baguette. This is not meant to depict an ejaculating penis, as far as we can tell.

reddit.com

Technically, this squirrel has a piece of food, not an erection.

Technically, this squirrel has a piece of food, not an erection.

reddit.com


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