I GET MY MONEY FOR NOTHING AND MY CHICKS FOR FREE!
Three words: ice cream soup.
Made your sweatpants into socks when you were too lazy to put some on.
Saved the best part of the cereal for last.
Neatly played with the pen cord at your bank or post office.
Enjoyed filling each and every waffle hole with syrup.
Sat on a toilet paper throne at the grocery store like goddamn royalty.
Discarded ketchup wrappers by sticking them to the inside of your takeout bag.
Enjoyed scraping the top off a chocolate wafer.
Aligned the noodles of your mac and cheese on your fork.
Pushed all the bubbles on your plastic lid just for fun.
Flushed a toilet in a public bathroom with your foot because GERMS.
Eaten popcorn with chocolates because salty and sweet mixtures are the best.
Used more shampoo than the directions say because it's *better* that way.
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Eaten the outside of a pretzel first, turning it into a new shape.
Dipped your french fries in your milkshake.
Let piles of clothes grow in that one place in your room.
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Put chips INSIDE your sandwich because it adds a more delicious crunch.
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And finally, enjoyed an ice cream cone in the perfect ~cone to ice cream~ ratio.
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