lolmohammed.

Because if your kids don’t learn pranking at home, they’ll learn it on the streets.

Jenny Chang/BuzzFeed

Let's start with a fun one: Put jelly beans in your ice dispenser.

Learn how at What's Cooking.

whatscookingwithkids.com

Also fun? Putting googly eyes on the food in your refrigerator.

imgur.com

Trick your kid into thinking you have an infestation problem by using a beetroot with a tail (or a potato and some string).

themetapicture.com

Thursday, 30 March 2017

32 Memes You Should Send To Your Sister Immediately

Twitter: @uncensoredchoco

“Sneaking into her room to steal clothes only to find your missing items in her drawer.”

Erin Chack / BuzzFeed

Twitter: @Lili_Claire

Columbia Pictures / Cassie Smyth / BuzzFeed

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Reply To These Texts From Your Ex And We’ll Reveal Your Most Attractive Quality

“I miss you.”

18 Things You'll Understand If You've Ever Shopped At Forever 21

Come get your beast-loving hats!

When you're punk'd by a damn jacket:

@luciextoo / Via Twitter: @luciextoo

Or when you just can't relate to the Belles of the world:

@LexieLoks / Via Twitter: @LexieLoks

When they become needier than your ex:

@heartcathedrals / Via Twitter: @heartcathedrals

When it seems like every store just rotates the same four people:

@livipants_ / Via Twitter: @livipants_

If Women Want To Be Taken Seriously By A Doctor, They Should Just Do One Of These Things

These are foolproof.

Recently there have been several pieces and studies showing that doctors tend to take women's pain less seriously than men's.

Independent, Variety, Huffington Post

1. Scream in your DEEPEST, "manliest" voice so that the doctor may mistake you for a man.

2. Or have your brother go into the ER complaining of pain and then when no one is looking switch places with him!

3. And if your brother is out of town wear a mask with his face.

4. Show up with an actual spear going through your chest.

5. Go back to school and acquire hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans JUST to become a doctor, so you can just diagnose yourself.

6. Arrive at the hospital by driving your car through the window like in the movies so that they know you’re serious.

7. Throw tampons at them until they take your severe menstrual pain seriously.

8. Smear your blood all over the hospital floor and spell out “I’m in pain."

Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

Monday, 27 March 2017

22 Tweets For Women Who Are Just So Done With Bullshit

“If a guy wants me to wear less makeup all he gotta do is ask and imma say no.”

Twitter: @danicarrington

Twitter: @anygirlfriday

Twitter: @asapdaya

Twitter: @ccierraaaaa

Sunday, 26 March 2017

27 Hilarious Tweets About the Diva Cup That Will Make You Laugh and Cringe

Instagram: @plannedparenthood

“Never realized how cavernous the human vagina can be until I couldn’t get my diva cup out for three hours.”

Menstrual cups are a great, eco-friendly option for many people who have periods. But learning how to use one properly can be a process.

First, there's the insertion part:

Twitter: @yeaiguessidk

Twitter: @_SayAndrea

Twitter: @iwasborngood

Friday, 24 March 2017

People Are Freaking Out After Figuring Out What Missy Elliot Was Actually Saying In “Work It"

She really did put her thang down, flip it, and reverse it.

I think we can all agree that Missy Elliot's "Work It" is one of the most banger-y of bangers that came out of the 2000s.

Goldmind

And there is nothing more fun than letting loose and singing along with Missy at the top of your lungs.

youtube.com

That is, until you get to that line that sounds like "ityerpripenipetzwaaahhnyeeeeehhh".

youtube.com

38 Painful, Horrible, Terrible Things Most Girls Have Experienced

Nothing chafes like a dry tampon.

Elizabethhoffmann / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

1. When you put a tampon in but it didn’t quite go deep enough, so there’s this dry bit kinda chafing a little, and you’re trying to have a conversation at work but all you can think about is your chafey little tampon having a chafey little chafe.

2. Pulling out a dry tampon! Sweet Mother Mary!

3. When you sleep with a pad that’s not long enough and a little runaway stream of blood somehow travels all the way down your buttcrack in the night, just past the pad, and splotches itself on your pants.

4. When the next night you’re like, “NOT THIS TIME, BUTTCRACK SPLOTCH,” and wedge the pad way further back than last time, then LO AND BEHOLD a runaway stream of blood travels THE OTHER WAY and splotches your pants in the front. And you’re just like, “How?”

5. When you’re on a night out and think you look amazing, but then you go to the bathroom and realise there’s just lipstick all over your face and teeth.

6. When you’re walking up stairs in front of a guy and suddenly become very aware of the fact that your bum is in his face.

7. When you put some mascara on and there’s a clump, so you use the brush again to try and even it out, but then there’s two clumps, and then you do it again until you have infinite clumps.

8. When there’s a mystery bit of dry, spiky skin on the side of your nail, so you try to pull it off, but it just starts pulling deeper and deeper instead of breaking off, and it just keeps going and going UNTIL SUDDENLY THE WHOLE NAIL HAS BEEN RIPPED OFF AND YOU'RE SCREAMING IN AGONY.

9. Catching your fingernail on a razor when shaving.

10. Taking out a chunk of knee while shaving.

11. Removing a section of your ankle while shaving.

12. When a person on the street stops you to awkwardly say, “Uh, sorry, I think your skirt is stuck,” so you have a feel and realise your ass is fully on display.

13. When your pubes get caught on the sticky bit of a pad and there's nothing you can do but rip them out, alone in a bathroom stall, full of sadness and regret.

14. When you willingly pay your own hard-earned money to have someone else tear hair from your body, and you suspect it’s because of the patriarchy, but you do it anyway.

15. When your tights start riding lower and lower and lower until you’re pretty sure the crotch is lower than your dress. But you’re in polite company so you can’t actually check, and adopt a kind of wide stance like an action hero to stop it going any lower.

16. When you get gassy on your period but also have to go to work. And you let out a stinky silent one. And just walk away from it and hope it gets blamed on someone else because a nice, pretty lady could never have produced that monster, surely.

17. Trying to peel some dry skin off your lip and just taking out a whole chunk of flesh instead. RIP lip.

18. Going on a date and realising you have a massive random spikey chin hair – like a three-inch-long monster – and there’s nothing you can do about it until you find a bathroom. Has your date noticed? Probably.

19. Getting your hair trapped in a seatbelt.

20. When you roll up a pad and put it in the bin in a shared house, but then you come back later and it’s somehow unfurled itself, broken free of the toilet paper shroud you wrapped it in, and is now RIGHT THERE ON DISPLAY in all its bloodied glory.

21. Cleaning your bum in the shower and finding one long head hair in your crack.

22. And pulling it out and realising it’s attached to another one.

23. And another.

24. And then doing a deeper search and finding a whole mystery hairball. How long have you been there, mystery hairball? No one will ever know.

25. Getting an eyelash directly on your eyeball.

26. When you think you’ve removed all your makeup, but the next morning you find a long, stringy black goopy thing in your eyeball. You pull it out and it just keeps coming and coming out of its hiding place in your eye socket.

27. Getting your eyebrows done and getting a teeny little chunk of skin torn out.

28. Getting into a tight dress and zipping your skin.

29. Carrying a lipstick in your coat pocket or purse and not realising until DAYS later that the lid came off and it’s everywhere.

30. Going out in new shoes and not realising until it’s too late that they are TEARING THE SKIN FROM THE BACK OF YOUR FOOT. So you just do the best you can to ignore the feeling of the skin rubbing off your heel and blood collecting in your shoe lol.

31. Laddering your tights on your way to work.

32. Dropping expensive foundation and hearing the bottle smash. And then having to clear it all up.

33. Getting your hair trapped in the back of a hair dryer.

34. When a creepy old man says, “Well, aren’t you a lovely young lady” or something else similar but in a gross horrible way, not a nice grandfatherly way.

35. Sending a text to the wrong person. A bad text. A sexy text.

36. When you bring someone home and wanna get naked but your dress is too tight so you kind of have to do a terrible jerky wiggle out of it, and it kind of gets trapped halfway, and you’re just standing there with your bum out and your head trapped somewhere around the waistline, and you keep saying, "Sorry, sorry, haha one sec!"

37. Farting during sex. It happens, ladies! It just happens. Those little farts just escape sometimes. Let them live.

38. When the gynecologist says, “You’ll just feel a small pinch!”

16 Kids Who Are Figuring Out Life Faster Than You Are

Twitter: @aalexandriabish

Teach me your ways.

This kid who has the death stare down pat:

Twitter: @CallMeHuss

This kid who already knows how to play the game:

Twitter: @olivertwist69

This little girl who knows just how to utilize her auntie:

This kid who knows he doesn't have to pretend:

Twitter: @Monty_Badu

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

For Everyone Who's Still Fucked Up Over That Story About The Girl With The Ribbon Around Her Neck

I am not over “The Green Ribbon.”

Hello, my friends. I am here to ruin your day by reminding you of that iconic spooky story about the girl with the ribbon around her neck, from this classic book:

Harper Collins / Via amazon.com

Remember? It's a wonderful story that also scarred me for life. It was called "The Green Ribbon" and this is literally the story. It's about a girl named Jenny who wears a green ribbon around her neck.

Remember? It's a wonderful story that also scarred me for life. It was called "The Green Ribbon" and this is literally the story. It's about a girl named Jenny who wears a green ribbon around her neck.

Basically the girl met some dude named Alfred, and Alfred was always like, "Jenny, what's up with the green ribbon around your neck??"

But Jenny never told Alfred; she was like, "You've gotta wait to find out!" But Alfred kept asking and asking. She even wore the green ribbon around her neck when they got MARRIED, and still didn't tell him why!

But Jenny never told Alfred; she was like, "You've gotta wait to find out!" But Alfred kept asking and asking. She even wore the green ribbon around her neck when they got MARRIED, and still didn't tell him why!

Only People With Perfect Colour Vision Can See These Dicks

Don’t balls this up.

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

29 Memes You Should Send To Your Co-Worker Right Now

Twitter: @_ImFreshPrince_

No, I do not want to put in money for Susan’s birthday gift.

Twitter: @SoonSun_

Twitter: @humor_me_pink

NBC / Angelo Spagnolo / BuzzFeed

Sunday, 19 March 2017

21 Funny Texts That You Won't Be Able To Get Through Without Laughing

Always check before you press send.

This result of not reading things through.

Twitter: @jbehrle3

And this mum who misread a situation.

Twitter: @z_khx

This excellent use of technology.

Twitter: @michaelsana13

43 Unspeakable Sexual Fantasies People Actually Have

BuzzFeed asked people to share their most secret sexual fantasies. Here are their open, honest, and very creative answers.

Tania Guerra for BuzzFeed News

When it comes to sexual fantasies, our minds can go to some weird, creative, and unexpected places. Since a lot of people have fantasies that they would never tell a partner — or even want to carry out in real life — other people's fantasies are pretty much a mystery. And because of that, you might feel like you're the only one in the world who fantasizes about a certain thing.

In hopes of ~demystifying~ the sexy and private inner worlds of other people, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of their favorite sexual fantasies. And keep in mind: Your sexual fantasies are not bad or shameful. It's perfectly natural to fantasize about some wild scenarios — even ones that you have no desire or intention to carry out IRL.

Here’s what they said.

"I want a hot guy go down on me and make me come while my boyfriend watches so he can finally learn how to do it right."

—19/Female/Heterosexual

"To have a supernatural power to sleep with anyone that I choose and meet. Make them want to sleep with me regardless of their orientation. And have them have sex with me."

—30/Male/Gay